thy rutted music, filled with sync;


Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Five years...
Seems like it's long.
But in fact,
It is very short.

So short that it is insufficient to cure a heart.
So short that it is insufficient to forgot.
So short that it is insufficient to... forgive.

I feel suffocated.
I don't know what to do.
Maybe God know.
No...
He know what I should do now.

God, the promise,
The promise of five years.
I'll never forget.

I guess,
This will be my last post here.
I wanted to disappear to somewhere else,
Where no one knows me,
And stay there for five years.
Try my best to forget everything.
After the five years,
Only did I will come back.
But I know, it wouldn't happen.

Awaiting,
Isn't as easy as you think.
Maybe most of you guys never experience it before.
But I'll tell you guys a fact,
Don't wait,
Because you don't know how long would it take for someone to respond.

Wait,
This four letter words,
Sounds sweet, sounds warm.
However,
It is cruel, it is heartless.

"Don't wait for the pain, only do you regret."

But I must make myself clear.
I have fallen too deep.
Too deep that it is too hard for me to stand up again.
Too deep that it is too hard for me to stop myself from waiting.
Too deep.. that I forgot what is pain.

Five years.
I promise to God,
I will bring her to you, but not for any other reason.
I promise to God,
I will be obedient, but not for her.
I promise to God.....
I will change, not for anyone,
Because I have grown up.

I choose to carry on with this narrow path,
Full of thorn, and brambles.
Because I know,
I must follow my promises.

In order to change anyone's view,
I must firstly, change myself.
Not to a human satisfying life,
Not to a evil cunning life,
But to you, Lord.

I don't looking forward for her answer.
Neither do I looking forward for any relationship...
Anymore.
I'll be faithful,
Towards my promises to God.

I don't mind how does others think of me,
I don't care about their reaction,
These are just what a human think,
But not what God think of.

I made a lot of sacrifices when the first time,
I met her.
God's will perhaps.
Because after knowing her,
I found that,
I have grown up,
In a different ways.
I'm not behaving like a kid,
Think like a child anymore,
Because of her,
I changed.
I must thanks God,
For the past one and a quarter of year,
That He grant me a chance to grow,
That He give me this chance to get known to her.
Now God,
It is the time that I must repay you.
I'm willing to give out my youth,
Just to bring her to you, Lord.
This is not for any reason behind,
But that, I feel I must save her souls,
And all of the others.

Thanks God,
For giving me this chance,
This wonder chance,
For me to grow in You.
And also...
For the first time,
I felt the burden of bringing suffering souls,
Come near to your eternal love.
This is what I always prayed,
And now, it had come true.
Because of God,
I have changed.

I'm sorry if my appearance to you,
Caused suffering in your life.
I know my apologies doesn't count.
I'm sorry, to puzzle your life.

My life, did changed...
I know I couldn't get back to the previous life.
But I have learnt to adapt to it.
Since we can't change the past,
Then we must change our view to it.
This five years,
You could hardly see me.
Hope that the next time we meet,
I will not be puzzling your life again.
Hope that you could find the one,
A better one,
That God had arranged for you.

You are the only one whom I have treated like this.
Thanks God for letting me to see my path,
Through you...

This post,
Shall remain forever...
Until I have fulfil my promise to God...

Sorry, and Thank you.

-I'm not worth for anyone to wait.-
Blog posted at 1:46pm, 18th May 2011.
--Closed--


-fusion of black&white
1:46:00 PM


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`ME (:
LiKuang, Dom
Woodlands Secondary
20091995

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