thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Five years...
Seems like it's long.
But in fact,
It is very short.
So short that it is insufficient to cure a heart.
So short that it is insufficient to forgot.
So short that it is insufficient to... forgive.
I feel suffocated.
I don't know what to do.
Maybe God know.
No...
He know what I should do now.
God, the promise,
The promise of five years.
I'll never forget.
I guess,
This will be my last post here.
I wanted to disappear to somewhere else,
Where no one knows me,
And stay there for five years.
Try my best to forget everything.
After the five years,
Only did I will come back.
But I know, it wouldn't happen.
Awaiting,
Isn't as easy as you think.
Maybe most of you guys never experience it before.
But I'll tell you guys a fact,
Don't wait,
Because you don't know how long would it take for someone to respond.
Wait,
This four letter words,
Sounds sweet, sounds warm.
However,
It is cruel, it is heartless.
"Don't wait for the pain, only do you regret."
But I must make myself clear.
I have fallen too deep.
Too deep that it is too hard for me to stand up again.
Too deep that it is too hard for me to stop myself from waiting.
Too deep.. that I forgot what is pain.
Five years.
I promise to God,
I will bring her to you, but not for any other reason.
I promise to God,
I will be obedient, but not for her.
I promise to God.....
I will change, not for anyone,
Because I have grown up.
I choose to carry on with this narrow path,
Full of thorn, and brambles.
Because I know,
I must follow my promises.
In order to change anyone's view,
I must firstly, change myself.
Not to a human satisfying life,
Not to a evil cunning life,
But to you, Lord.
I don't looking forward for her answer.
Neither do I looking forward for any relationship...
Anymore.
I'll be faithful,
Towards my promises to God.
I don't mind how does others think of me,
I don't care about their reaction,
These are just what a human think,
But not what God think of.
I made a lot of sacrifices when the first time,
I met her.
God's will perhaps.
Because after knowing her,
I found that,
I have grown up,
In a different ways.
I'm not behaving like a kid,
Think like a child anymore,
Because of her,
I changed.
I must thanks God,
For the past one and a quarter of year,
That He grant me a chance to grow,
That He give me this chance to get known to her.
Now God,
It is the time that I must repay you.
I'm willing to give out my youth,
Just to bring her to you, Lord.
This is not for any reason behind,
But that, I feel I must save her souls,
And all of the others.
Thanks God,
For giving me this chance,
This wonder chance,
For me to grow in You.
And also...
For the first time,
I felt the burden of bringing suffering souls,
Come near to your eternal love.
This is what I always prayed,
And now, it had come true.
Because of God,
I have changed.
I'm sorry if my appearance to you,
Caused suffering in your life.
I know my apologies doesn't count.
I'm sorry, to puzzle your life.
My life, did changed...
I know I couldn't get back to the previous life.
But I have learnt to adapt to it.
Since we can't change the past,
Then we must change our view to it.
This five years,
You could hardly see me.
Hope that the next time we meet,
I will not be puzzling your life again.
Hope that you could find the one,
A better one,
That God had arranged for you.
You are the only one whom I have treated like this.
Thanks God for letting me to see my path,
Through you...
This post,
Shall remain forever...
Until I have fulfil my promise to God...
Sorry, and Thank you.
-I'm not worth for anyone to wait.-
Blog posted at 1:46pm, 18th May 2011.
--Closed--
-fusion of black&white
1:46:00 PM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Sunday, May 15, 2011
C-H-O-I-C-E
It's been such a long time since I had to face this.
I've not prepared yet
And I don't wish to face it.
However it seems like I had no way out but to make a choice.
I told myself not to fall into it again.
I prayed, I prayed lord to seal my mind.
But why, I had to face it again?
One and a quarter of year.
It's been tiring for me.
I keep on telling myself, I'll not. I'll not.
Too tired.
For everything.
Just for a little reply from you.
My mind is way way exhausted.
But why?
When I sealed my mind,
When I tempted not to think,
When I tried to forget.
There it goes.
It happened. As usual.
Maybe I was too silly.
Too silly to wait for you.
I must thank God for reminding me of it.
I MUST thank God for letting me to know what I should do,
and what I promised to Him, and to you.
In others' eyes,
I'm just too silly.
Do you still remember the promise we made?
How we meet, what had the both of me and you promised to each other.
Now, I'll not be the silly one, to stand there and watch.
I'll take my move, to bring you to God.
I'll hold the promise, till the end.
God, the almighty Lord,
If this is in Your will, please, I pray.
If I could, please allow me to do so.
However, not in my will, but in Yours.
If You allow, please grant me with wisdom,
Fill me with Your bless,
Touch my heart with Your promise.
Yes Lord,
Please, please let me know of what I should say,
What I should do,
To bring her to You.
Please give me the time of five years,
So that I could have bring her to You.
Lord, I promise You,
Just like what You had promised to us, the sinners.
May your power, your strength, your gospel, and your love,
To be known to the whole world.
In the name of Jesus, Amen.
I always asked people to face the problem,
to seek for the solution,
to be true to themselves.
However,
I'm the one,
Whom tempted to run away from all the difficulties I meet.
I'm not, the true side of me.
-fusion of black&white
9:52:00 PM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Finally, I welcomed the last paper of maths...
Brain could actually derive most of the equations out from each another.
All thanks to the previous A-math paper.
:)
Phew, thanks that I got called up this morning,
Actually, I didn't study. :P
Surfed internet and a lot of stuff.
Still thanks for waking me up.
1:15+ reached school.
Hehe, played a lot of stuff outside the library,
And I just realized, our school CCTV, seems like nobody business..
No one cares even when part of us were doing silly thing in front of it.. :O
2:30, exam started.
Phew, left one blank~
Hope that I can at least get 95 and above for this paper 2 bah. :)
Thanks God for giving me such great wisdom!
5pm.. Hmmmmmm....
Going back now, sure jam..
Later bah~
Go and have some game of basketball first then say :D
Well well well.. Learnt a lesson today.
Don't play game with this kind of seriousness..
Is your leg okay now?
Rest well and listen to doctor, Mr.Pang.
Argh!!!!
My leg is soooo tired now... :(
8:15...
Still waiting....
8:45...
$%#^%$*%$%^
Finally you come. Stupid bus. Grrrrrrrrr....
8:50...
........................ When will you start moving???
9:00...
Thanks God, finally you moved.. :)
Reached home at 10:40...
WOW!
So tired..
And the water supply tried to shock me.
Bathing half way no water come out...
Glad that I'd, as in my family have the habit of storing pile of water.
No choice, but to use cold water to bath..
Poor thing.. :(
Almost bored to death on bus just now,
But thanks that I got phone with me. :D
Hahahahaha~~~
Now, I guess I have to recharge my energy already..
Before I'm too tired..
:)
历史性的一刻~终于临来了使用计算机的最后一天~
哈哈哈哈~
所有的数学都过了~好高兴哦~
头脑竟然可以这么容易的对待数学题，
都要感谢昨天那么神经病的高级数学了！
今早没睡过头~
谢谢你哦~
哈哈哈哈~
不过呢，要坦诚相待嘛~
我其实并没有读书:P
上网到处看看，找找资料~
对不起哦~ 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
1:15++ 就到学校了
呵呵，和朋友们在图书馆外面干了很多事情~ :P
*注明：没有干坏事*
不过呢，学校的闭录电视没有人在管的~
他们在CCTV面前干了这么多的蠢事，每人理。。。。
2:30开始了~
只有一题，一分的不会做~
其他都马马虎虎拉~
这次我很肯定的说我能拿到至少95分！ :D
感谢主赐我这聪明的头脑！
5点，回去一定赛车的。。。
那么，我就先去打打篮球，消耗时间吧~
对了对了对了。。。今天学到了很很很重要的一个教训！
不要对比赛的胜负抱着太大的执著！看看吧，脚扭伤了吧！
好好休息，听医生的话哦！Mr.Pang!
脚好酸。。。
等了你30分钟。。还没到。。
8:45，你终于来了。。
8:50...还不要走？？
9:00..终于走了！好高兴！哈哈哈哈！可是我还要坐在你上面那么久。。。
10:40终于到家了！
可是，冲凉冲到一半，没有水。。。
:(
只好用桶里面的水咯。。
好冷！！
也好累。。。
刚刚在车上差点闷死~
还好我有电话在身边~
hehe~
我想，我也该去储存能量了，
就快累倒了~
感谢你的十字架
感谢你付上代价
洗净我罪和污秽
使我完全
次下奇妙恩典
Thank you for the cross, Lord
Thank you for the price you paid.
Bearing all my sins and shame
In love you came
And gave amazing grace.
-fusion of black&white
11:06:00 PM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Long time never wake up this late already...
Since last year? Perhaps, when school still starts at 8.30
Woke up at 6:30, yay~
Had an extra hour of sleeping.
Today, the weather is hot, as usual.
Reached Singapore at about 8:00~
Went to Koufu, waited for Daryl..
8:30? Yap. That's when we met.
I thought there should be another guy, who supposed to meet us as well..
Mr. Wong, where are you??
Fine! We'll have our breakfast first.
9.......
WHERE ARE YOU?!
Nevermind, we'll go to your house.
*Ding Dong..*
You jolly well open the door now..
Still sleeping???
See lar, If I never come, you will be late for paper later. :D
MUST THANKS ME AND DARYL!!!
hahahaha~
Lakers... 4-0.. FOR THE FIRST TIME!!
Quite sad.. You got trashed. :(
Went to school, sat down.
Only then I realized...
I DIDN'T BRING MY CALCULATOR!!
Smart right? haha
Today there's math paper,
and ahmad came out with a great idea.
--->Mental sum.
:D
All right ahmad, dont be crazy~
Thanks God that I had a bunch of best classmates around me! :)
Thank you peeps for volunteering of lending me calculator~
Too famous already. xD
Well well, stop that, I'm just kidding~ :D
A-math, when I saw the paper, I was almost killed...
First reaction in my head. "Lo and behold!"
I can even smell blood from all around me during the paper just now..
Well, this is how we react to the paper..
Today I did three great things today.
-Didn't bring calculator, while knowing there's math paper today.
-Waved goodbye to my straight A's today, after the A-math paper.
-Ate a lot a lot of fries today, though the weather is so hot. (Of course got scolded. hahahah :P)
The weather is seriously... Driving me crazy!
Body cannot afford this situation too much uhs,
I'm very tired now... :(
Tomorrow paper starts only at 2:30pm..
Had to report at 2 tomorrow.
:)
I'll get someone to wake me up at the morning.
Thanks a~
好久，好久都没有在上课期间睡到这么迟了~
也许最后一次，是去年的事吧~（当学校还在8:30上课时）
好开心哦，今天6:30左右才起床~
有了多一个小时来睡觉。。。
真爱睡啊~哈哈哈
能睡是福！好好珍惜！
早上大概8点半就到口福等Daryl了。
大概吧，那就是我们见面的时间了。。
应该还有一个人的~
黄先生，你在哪里？？
算了，我们自己先吃早餐了。
上午9点。。。
你到底在哪一个星球！！！
没关系，我们去你家。
-叮咚-
你最好给我开门hor。。
还在睡？？？
你看啦，如果我没来的话，你今天就不用考试了~
要谢谢我们！！
哈哈哈
Lakers... 你竟然输了！ 还是4-0！！ 第一次啊！！
有一点点伤心。。
到了学校，做了下来。。
头脑里好像有一点东西。。
对了！那位世界上最糊涂的本大爷，又忘记带东西了~
而这次，这是我的计算机~
哈哈哈哈！
很厉害吧~
明明知道今天又普通数学与高级数学的。。
还可以忘记，
真是服了你了啊~
Ahmad, 他竟然，想出了一个妙计：
心算~
:D
很聪明哦~我知道我心算还算不错，
小学数学也许还可以。。这是中三数学勒先生！！
xD
真的要感谢主，他让我有一班好同学！
感谢主他令他们带了多余的计算机，
还抢着要借我~哈哈哈哈，太有名了！
好啦好啦，够了够了，我只是在开玩笑罢了~
高级数学。。
看到题目时，差点死悄悄~
头脑里面不由自主的第一个反应：上帝啊！！
在考试时，我还可以嗅到好像血一样的味道，正围绕着我~
这就是，我们对这试卷的反应。。。
*不用我说就知道多惨了吧！*
今天做了3样“好”事。
-明知有数学试卷，却没带计算机。
-对我的全科A挥了挥手，说了再见。。
-天气很热，还拼命的吃薯条。（当然被骂了~哈哈哈:P）
最近的天气。。。真的真的，快把我逼疯了！
身体已经快不能适应这样的天气了，不可以，绝对不可以生病~ :D
感到有一丝丝的累意了哦~
明天2:30才开始考。。
2点才需要到学校报到。。
:)
叫了一个人让他明天叫我醒，不然我一定100%睡过头的~
谢谢你啦~哈哈哈
何等恩典，你以尊贵荣耀为我冠冕~
How Graceful you are, Crown me with the glorious glory.
-fusion of black&white
7:49:00 PM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
What a nice weather today? haha..
Didn't think that even I, who could hardly sweat while under shelter,
Also sweat a lot.
But nevermind~
healthy people sweat much. ^^
Today was chemistry paper,
and my dear friend,
mr. wong,
how dare he lost my note that i borrowed him!
Good job! :)
I almost lost 9 marks cause of that.
But nevermind, God had shown his power on me,
he made me recall of what I have studied and practised in the past~
Thanks God!! :)
Okay, today went to a place, which is not really far as what I think.
But then, that "Person", how dare this person think that I was kidding.
Hahaha, nevermind~
For the first time, someone told me that I was over tanned, almost overcooked.
Haha :P
This is the proof of having a healthy lifestyle what~
Got back home, but I couldn't go in....
The most short term memory man in the world, forgot to bring his key this morning..
So I had to wait... and wait.. and wait.
Standing outside the door, clef was crying all the way.
Haha, silly him,
climb up to the table, and don't know how to get down.
He sit down there stare at me, and cry, so do I stare at him as well..
YAY!
Got into home, finally..
Had to prepare for tomorrow A-Math already..
If not later someone will scold me for sleeping too late..
*Oh ya, I online yesterday 12am got found out. hehe.. psps~ :P
天气很不错吗~
尽然让一个不怎么流汗的我留了一堆汉。。。
不错嘛~
没关系，健康的人流的汗是很多的。
今天考化学了哦
然后我的这么一位好朋友，黄先生。。。
他尽然。。。尽然。。。
把我借给他的note弄丢了。。。
可恶！
差点就对9分说声再见了。
不过感谢主，感谢主能在我这个软弱的身体上显出他的大能，
谢谢他能让我记起我平时所读，所写的一切。
感谢主！
去了一个，大家多说很远的地方，但是。。。
不远啊~
不过呢，那个人，他尽然以为我在开玩笑呢!
没关系，我大人有大量，不放在心上~
第一次，有人说我被晒得很黑呢！
哈哈，
这可是健康生活的证据hor!
回到家了，可是，我却没有门进！
世界上最健忘的人，尽然忘了带钥匙出门！
哈哈哈哈~
没办法，只好站在门外，看着在屋里一直哭的clef咯。。
他很笨！尽然自己爬上了桌子，却下不来！
真快把我笑翻了~
他在桌上一直哭，一直哭，看着我，我却无能为力~
YAY!
终于进到家里了。
得要准备明天的A-Math了，
不然又有人在哪里骂我，说读书读到很迟~
*对了，昨天偷偷在12点用电话上网，被发现了~ 哈哈 不会重犯了啦~ :D
*绕了一圈，回到原点
-fusion of black&white
5:34:00 PM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Monday, May 9, 2011
Well, yesterday, I got fooled by my dearest churchmate,
as the approach of the "secret guest"
In fact, it's been such a long time seen I meet her,
and I'm quite happy to see such an old friend of mine.
It was my utmost surprise of the day, but then,
worship must still be going on.
So I let it be aside until the worship end.
Thank you for your prank, Mr.Woo and Ms.Pung. haha. :D
I don't actually mind it, as under Lord, all of us are one family.
Isn't?
But there's a limit for it ehs.
See, how many people misunderstood already. :X
By the way, all started from Mr. Veo Goh. grrrrrr....
Nehmind~ I don't really mind. It isn't a fact as well.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!
The whole family of us went to have dinner together,
Including my second bro's girlfriend.
But the service over there is seriously bad...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VEO GOH!
haha, you didn't bath!
eeeee, dirty! no lar chey~
It's a fun night actually,
though our Ms.Pung didn't really enjoyed it,
but we still loved the moment.
Sorry yea "secret guest",
Keep killing you, made you cannot play so much uhs.
hahahahahaha~
Happy birthday Veo!!
:)
Hope you enjoyed this birthday celebration! :)
May God bless you and those who surround you, fill you with wisdom, and work hard in sharing gospel! :)
P.S./ We've told you stop eating that already, see lar, fall in sick already right.. Aiks.. Take care and drink plenty of water, tomorrow still have exam. "secret guest"
昨天，我被人恶整了一顿，
都是因为“她”的到来。
不过呢，我们也很旧没见了吗。
说真的，那位神秘嘉宾真的让我很惊喜，
但是崇拜还是要进行的。。
过后我们聊了蛮久的，
这里我得要感谢两位人哦。
对不对呀？伍先生，彭女士。
恶整我们很好玩吗~
其实我并不怎样的在意，
不过也要适可而止啦。
你看“她”都被你们整倒这样了，
而且还有好多人都误会了呢！
到头来说，这一切都是我们的寿星，吴先生干的好事。。
姓“wu”的都不好惹呢！
不过还是要祝你生日快乐阿！
母亲节快乐！
我们一家，包括了二哥的女友，一起到餐馆共进晚餐。
服务真的是很不周到！！
令我们都没好好的吃到。。
恭祝吴先生生日快乐！
又老了一岁了呀！
没冲凉~肮脏！！ 哈哈，开玩笑罢了。。
虽然我们的彭小姐没有好好尽情的玩，
不过我们都非常的珍惜这段时光嘛。。
也要对“神秘嘉炳”道个歉，
一直瞄准你，对不起啦~
还你不能玩， 哈哈哈哈~
吴先生！生日快乐！！！
:)
希望你渡过了一个开心的夜晚！
愿主能赐你聪明智慧，让你能在事工上更上一层楼，也能祝福你与你周遭的所有人！
P.S./ 都叫你不要继续吃了，别逞强了阿！看啦，生病了。Aiks.. 好好照顾自己啊！和多一点水，解解热，明天还有考试勒。。
Thank you for the cross, Lord.
Thank you for the price you paid.
Bearing all my sin and shame, in love you came
And gave Amazing Grace.
Thank you for this love, Lord.
Thank you for the nail-pierced hands.
Wash me in Your cleansing flow, now all I know...
Your forgivness and embrace.
Worthy is the Lamb
seated on the throne.
We crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious!
High and lifted up
Jesus, Son of God.
The darling of Heaven, crucified...
Worthy is the Lamb.
Ms Cherlyn, unexpected at all.
Do come again next time. :)
-fusion of black&white
3:41:00 PM
